Big picture

I took stock. Below is an impression of my 2010 training spreadsheet. All went reasonably according to plan in week two, three and four but half way through week five my training derailed. The red bits are missed training sessions due to fatigue, generally not feeling well and lack of energy etc ... and maybe lack of motivation and a little lack of discipline at times, too.

But that's hopefully all behind now. To date I have a miserly 1120 km in my legs. According to my Annual Training Plan that I wrote in January I should be closer to 2500 km. I should be racing the Battle of the Border this coming weekend, too. "Should"! But no point dwelling on the "shoulds" and "ifs".

Alberto must have felt this way back in December when I raced the Tour of Bright and he was sidelined due to injury from his accident. We will be spending the weekend in a little beach house just across the Queensland border with friends and while I won't be racing I still look forward to an amazing weekend of free gym access, beach, social coffee rides and poolside cocktails. I can almost convince myself that this is not a bad alternative to racing four tough stages.

I re-visited my annual training plan yesterday, made changes that will get me back on track and in shape for the Queensland Road Championship and State Time Trial in August and September.
Growing confidence that ten uninterrupted "black" days in my training log are not a fluke, I now just hope for my strength to return as well.

This morning, and for the past few days, I struggled to hang on and up hills. My muscles feel weak and my hamstrings and gluts are extremely sore after each ride, especially for the low intensity effort. I would hate to know what my power output is at the moment so it's just well that my Powertap is not back, yet.

The good news are that I received an email from Trek in Sydney that they received a replacement hub from Saris. The hub is a new SL+, with 15mm axle and ANT+, which is an upgrade on my current 2.4. Only a few more days for the wheel to be rebuild and everything seems to fall back into place.

Hashimoto's disease

I have been riding my bike a lot in the past two weeks. You might have figured from my absence here. No news are good news, so they say. And I can assure you that it's all just good news from me. The Chinese woman in the Darwin jewelry shop a couple of months ago told me that the Year of the Tiger was going to be a magical year for tigers like me. She was trying to sell me the green jade earrings and necklace. I'm not much of a superstitious person but maybe it wasn't all just sales tactic. My Chinese doctor told me the same. Lucky me.

I hope you are interested in my news. I decided to share them because it's just too astonishing. Last Thursday I saw the specialist, an endocrinologist. My thyroids are intensely inflamed (my constant sore throat!) and are overproducing hormone (my high rest heart rate, my fatigue and a whole range of other symptoms that I never brought in context with this, like for example lots of changes in skin pigmentation in my face, sweating more than anybody else at Bikram Yoga, my hair loss, no struggles with keeping race weight despite eating plenty etc).

Now - are you sitting down? Ever heard of Hashimoto's disease? I hadn't. That's most likely what I have inherited from mum. She knew she had something with her thyroids but was never told what exactly was wrong.

Still sitting? My Hashimoto's disease was set off by ... I was upset when I learnt this ... my Multi Vitamin. Yep!

In a nutshell: It contains lots of iodine. Iodine is used by the thyroid to produce hormone. With the Hashimoto's thyroid the thyroid doesn't stop producing hormone when there is enough in the body. It continues turning all available iodine into hormone, hence the overproduction and inflammation.

I was crushed to learn that all the good things I thought I was doing were actually causing more harm. I know that vitamins have been in the media a lot recently, at least here in Australia, and I don't always buy into the hype with things being good for you one day and demonised the next, depending on who's paying for the research, but vitamins might really not be necessary if you follow a balanced diet. It's a multi-million dollar industry that makes us believe that we need it. Think twice next time you pop a vitamin instead of grabbing an apple or orange, that's at least the lesson I learnt.

Since I stopped taking the vitamins and eliminated other sources of iodine (no more sushi for lunch because seaweed is high in iodine) I can feel how I'm improving. My rest heart rate is coming down steadily and is back to 58 bpm, which is probably right for my current level of fitness.

My motivation is back and with energy levels improving I even managed to join some 5 am rides with friends again before work. I'm still restricted to 120 bpm but with all the base miles I'm getting into my legs now, racing appears all possible again and maybe not even in the too far distant future. Maybe as early as the Metropolitan Championships at the end of May and the Tour of the Scenic Rim in June?

So here are some impressions of the rides that I told you about:

Foggy morning ride with John Saturday two weeks ago

Sunrise over Brisbane on Brisbane's infamous river loop Friday a week ago

Ride along Brisbane's Bicentennial bike path with Alberto and Toby last Saturday ...

... that included a hearty lunch at Poppy's at Southbank.

Wet late afternoon ride through Samford Valley with Alberto last Sunday

View from Kurilpa Bridge last Thursday at about 6:30 am ...

and John setting the tempo across the bridge, heading into the city for work while I headed home 'cause I don't work in the city

Dodging the rain on yesterday's Wynnum/Manly ride but the roads were wet. Road bikes don't have mud guards.

P and I at the "Garage" yesterday morning

Trifecta

This morning in Redcliffe

Garmin Edge 500, WKO+ 3.0 and cycling iPhone applications

Research by a German University confirmed that cycling improves cognitive ability and brain functions. I read this in the health fund magazine that my parent's left laying around here. Now, my light-bulb moment during last Sunday's ride may or may not be a strike of genius but I came up with the idea of buying a Garmin. After six weeks of relying on iPhone applications for some riding stats and with still no news on the repair of my Powertap, I just figured that with a Garmin I can put an end to my misery of relying (or non-relying) on perceived exertion. That way I can have all my beloved data like heartrate, speed, cadence, distance now (and whenever I choose to ride my Corima race wheels in future) and also be able to use the Garmin with my Powertap wheel thanks to the Ant+ compatibility.

I returned home exited and not long before the Garmin Edge 500 was ordered. It arrived last Wednesday, within 24 hours of ordering. Great service First Endurance!

Then I upgraded my WKO+ analysis program to the new version 3.0 so I can download data directly into the WKO+ software without having to fiddle with device agents. A little hiccup at the download, which was my own stupid fault because I didn't save the registration code, and an email to the WKO+ support desk was necessary. Once again I was impressed by the service and professionalism. They apologised for the trouble I was having when there was no need to apologise. The software is now installed and I played with the new Quadrant Analysis tool. Geeky? I did get excited and analysed a couple of old rides for which I had the power data.

Next I got my annual training program out. Racing was supposed to start in three weeks with the Battle on the Border. That's now out of question. The May races with the Metropolitan Championship are all cancelled. It sucks but I can live with that. Missing the Tour of the Scenic Rim and the Cunningham Classic and other June/July races would really hurt but I'm not going to stress about that now. The doctor assured me that I should be good for the State Championship and Bright later in the year.

More tests were done today and my doctor got me into the specialist on short notice. She apparently is booked out until June but will see me next week.

I'm full of optimism. Of course it's only easy riding for now but at least I'm allowed to ride at all and the good thing is that I will be forced to stick with base training a little longer, which will help building a good solid base for later in the year.

Motivation comes in unexpected forms and shapes

Alberto gave me the contact details of a sports doctor he had seen at the peak of his health frustrations during the recovery from his accident last year. We had a long chat one night. He listened to me talking about my training frustrations, how it is messing with my head not to be able to train, how I'm always second guessing, whether I should push through or back off, train or rest, or if this is just happening in my head. It could be all lack of discipline, couldn't it?

Not exactly sick but not exactly healthy either, Alberto knew how much I detested the idea of going to a GP after all the experience I had. More than once I was made believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, except maybe that I exercise too much and hence must be slightly crazy.

I had the sports doctor's card in my bag for a few days before I called and was more than apprehensive when I walked into his room. To my great delight he listened to me and one of his first questions was when my next important race will be. Wow! There was finally someone who understood, took me seriously, spoke the same language. Resting heart rate high? Yes. Sore throat? Yes. Tired? Black rings under my eyes? He asked me lots and lots of questions about other symptoms, some I confirmed, others I never had, and looked into my throat and checked my spleen and glands. Glandular Fever? Probably not. He explained to me that it is very rare that Glandular Fever returns once gone because the body builds antibodies and immunity.

The doctor ordered easy riding with heart rates no higher than 110 bpm until the blood test gives more information. He said he would call me once he gets the results but there wouldn't be a need to come back if all was good. When I walked out of there I was convinced the blood test would just show another simple virus infection.

The phone call came this afternoon and I drove across town to see him. The results from the blood test, while not Glandular Fever, were not exactly good news. But, strangely enough, it's good news to know what's wrong.

It might be naive of me to feel relieved because I don't quite understand the full extend of what has been said and more tests need to be done and a specialist needs to be seen and even though it could be months before I'm racing again (a 120 bpm heart rate restriction remains in place), but that's how I feel. I can know focus on what needs to be done to feel better. No more second guessing. Only straight forward working towards my goal to be healthy so I can train and race.

Bikram Yoga and Glandular Fever

I went to bed at nine, got up at eight - what does it make it? Eleven hours in bed? I had a terrible sleep, too. My mind was racing over and over that one theme of throwing it all in. I knew I was on a downward spiral of negativity and that I had to get out of that mindset. I was begging my restless mind to shut up and let me sleep. To my great surprise I didn't feel exhausted when I got up that morning. My heart rate was 61 beats per minute. I hadn't seen it this low for a long time.

Alberto had looked at me worryingly over the dinner table the night before. He didn't need to say much. I knew what he was thinking. I was telling myself that I should just snap out of it. The problem with this whole Glandular Fever thing is that I'm loosing trust in my body. What's the point of forcing myself out of bed and into the dark morning to train when two or three weeks later I'm sidelined again for days or even weeks, loosing all this hard earned fitness? I know there are useless unhelpful thoughts but it's hard to stay motivated with this 'one step forward and two steps back dance'.

Down as I felt, I still went to Yoga. Even though the Yoga class was strenuous, frustrating and tiring, I was glad I went. It made me feel better because I at least did something and it showed that it's not just happening in my head. I was so fatigued that my whole body was shaking. I had to sit out most of the standing asanas. Every time my head stopped spinning enough to try and resume practise I broke out in cold sweats and was drawn back to my mat. I felt nauseous and feared to spew all over my mat, sweating like hell, all the time imagining the toxins and virus leaving my body through all my pores together with the evil thoughts of giving up, like some kind of exorcism.

After class I sat down next to Sherry, the teacher and owner of the Bikram studio. She seemed to confirm my suspicion that the Yoga could have stirred up the virus. My natural therapist had said to me last year that the heat of summer is known to bring out the dormant virus. Heat! Hot yoga! Has someone else heard of this before? Worried to do more damage than good I asked her whether I should continue. She nod her short-cropped grey-haired head and encouraged me to work through it.

So if Yoga caused this setback maybe Yoga will fix it? Yesterday I was able to work through all asanas without feeling dizzy or nauseous. Again I sweat like hell and when I touched my skin it felt burning hot, like I was running a fever. After class I wrung my towel outside and another girl saw the puddle and asked whether I had wet my towel in the shower. I hadn't. It was just all the toxic negativity leaving my body in form of sweat. I left the puddle behind in the car park.

This afternoon I felt energetic enough to get out for a little ride. Big dark clouds moved in but my mood wasn't quite as dramatic as the sky. I simply enjoyed spinning my legs, loved climbing the short rolling hills all the while just hoping to stay dry. Despite the familiar tired pressure behind my eyes my body and legs felt strong.

I felt down and beaten the other day but I'm not giving up just yet. Deep inside I know I'll never give up cycling. I love it too much. Mark Renshaw is back racing. And so will I. You watch!

Thoughts of giving up

Seeing my bike robbed of its rear wheel makes me feel sad. It looks so ... broken. Depressed! At least Alberto can make use of the Ksyrium wheel ... my spare wheel, while my Powertap wheel is travelling the world, probably - hopefully - visiting the States right now.

No spare wheel needed. I haven't been able to ride all week. Feelings of frustration, anger, envy and fear ... fear that this is how it's going to be now ... for the rest of my life. The Glandular Fever tightened its grip. I don't understand. The symptoms were all gone. I trained and raced the Tour of Bright last year. I want to rage. I want to fight and make it go away. But I'm too tired.

I watched a spectacular fight for survival on our lounge room wall the other night. The gecko looked like he had the upper hand there for a while but the cricket got away at the end. Darwin would have been proud.

This, too, shall pass. I know.